I recently read my friends self biography, and it inspired me to do my own. So here goes.



My life in ART



I first started to draw when I was but a young boy in Kindergarden. My inspiration came from Jurassic park. I discovered a coloring book at a Daycare center, and so it began. I would at first just color for fun, but then I started to color in the lines furiously. But soon I wanted to draw my own Dinosaurs and color them, so I did. I'd draw just the terrible lizards. but eventually I drew other animals as I drew a horse for my Mom. I knew she loved horses. Her reaction is faded in my mind, but it lead me to want to do better and reach that tip of the pyramid. I would draw whatever and whenever. Eventually came graduation and I drew a Hippopotamus for the oh so famous song. It made me feel like I never again felt. Happy.

1st Grade. I don't remember much from first grade, I just remember that girl who would walk with me home every day. She was an Asian girl who had cats. she had long black hair and worse a red hair band. She was the subject in my life that made me happy, but I soon discovered how shy I was. And eventually one day she was not there at the bus stop. I never saw her again. I did not understand how I felt when she was gone. But now I realize that I had a place for her in my heart.

As time went on I moved to another school and into 2nd grade. I made a few friends and from that point I discovered Japanese toys. FF7 figures. My friend brought them to school, their quality compared to my race cars, T-Rex and other monsters and things was amazingly better. They looked cool too. I eventually stumbled across what will forever be my Favorite anime.

On tv I saw a man flying. My first thought was, "Superman?" but no. His hair was spiky. He was holding an orange ball and shouting furiously. Then he started killing bad guys with superpowers and eventually finding someone like him. I thought they were brothers as the man said in relation. Then he kneed him and for some reason showed mercy. My first taste of drama and my first cartoon that was not made in America. Dragonball Z.


From there I made a shift in drawing. Rather than drawing the animals and random scribbled I sieged the art world to find the answer to why Drawings could move and look so good. I would draw people for the first time. It started off as shapes with my crayons, then to stick figures with hair. But I really wanted to draw the muscle and the dynamic look of the Heroes that inhabited my new world.

My brother Sam was my admire when it came to art, and my motivation. He was always asking what I've drawn. and eventually it became a mandatory thing. But as I started to draw what was in my mind more often and spending hours just looking at the images in my mind. I would eventually start making my own characters.

Grade 7. My first art teacher *kinda late in the game for an art class.* saw how much I liked to draw. So he gave me a book with no lines and said "Just draw in it. Draw what comes to mind, and try to fill it up all the way." I of course couldn't wait. I started drawing on blank paper not in the book at first, but eventually I drew some of my at the time, best work. I was eventually noticed by other people who would ask me to draw for them. I never finished the book, but it stepped me off in the right direction. A portfolio direction.

Grade 9. I had already discovered the internet and was using it to post art in forum. I scanned my art and eventually desired to post my art on a website seeing as I was so proud of my work. I started off with Yahoo's free website tools, but it was never quite enough. I had no interaction with those who visited. So while at school I was scowering the web for a place just for posting art and talking about it. And I discovered my second home. DeviantART.

I posted my art like a fat kid in a pastry factory. I at first did not think much of the site, it was new to me. I posted 3 pictures and eventually forgot about the website. I eventually became extremely unsatisfied with my work and with the resources at my disposal. Then one of my friends said "How is Gaia treating you?" And I was oh so confused. I asked what they meant and they said NVM. So time went by and the name popped up again. Gaia. So I did a quick search on Gaia. Go-Gaia popped up, and I discovered Chibi and pixel art. and fast response. My desired resource was available, Feedback.

At this point my art has reached the pose experimenting stage and at the same time I am getting feedback from peers. I eventually remember the old site dA and go back to find people responded to my art. I was filled with joy. I eventually discovered Bryce4 and messed with it for a while. I even today look back at my old art from those days and think of the creativity I once had.

Grade 11. I am now in a state of change. My attitude has changed as well as my interests. Going so long without real friends I eventually started to idolize myself and think of myself as the only person in the world. I would draw things that make me feel strange but at the same time made me angry. I would tear up my art in anger and get into arguments. I was full of rage for so long that I forgot myself. But one day I hit a mental wall. Like a ghost with solid burdens I passed through leaving all my emotions behind. I broke my emotional soul and became very drone. I really picked up my art at this point. All the feedback and desire to become the best there ever was drove me into insanity, but the hours spent drawing caused me to improve so much that I noticed it myself. Constantly asking for help, feedback, critique had changed my art.


Droping out. At this point I decided to buy my own pc and a tablet. Oh the joy I discovered in digital art. I would spend hours and even days on the computer just drawing. Eventually my Mom would notice and try to get me off the computer to do other things, but I would always say, "I need to get better! If I want to have a career then I can't stop!" Spending all my time at the computer on the internet and running around trying to get the connection back as fast as I could. Chatting online, getting help with my art more and drawing more, posting and hoping to get as many replies as I could.

On the inside I felt like I was fine, but on the outside, I was a mess. I hardly would leave the chair unless it was to eat, and eventually I would pass up eating just so I could draw. Games became my only exercise. My mind was my most valuable organ. I was so active mentally I would talk at miles a minute to save time. I was breaking down everything to the simplest movement to get things done, from walking to moving, holding, placing things. I started to take interest in the martial arts and I still even to this day keep the same style of motion. People think it's weird or whatever, but I feel happy and free when I move in fluid motion.

I was a mess when it came to my life. I spent so much time on the computer time seemed to stop, but I was wrong. I went from 16 to 20 in a blink of an eye. I missed out on my life. I eventually had to face the truth. Life was catching up. I plotted and planned everything and eventually reached a point that I would enter a part of my mind that I could watch existence from. It's hard to explain so I'll keep it simple, it lets me plan for events that will happen throughout the day and as much time I spent doing it, no plan failed. But not always in a good way.

My art started to change dramatically as I developed my characters. Ever trying to reach that goal of being a Mangaka. But now I had to face reality. I had to get a job. I looked forever and found one at Safeway. I worked for 3 days and quit. I eventually was recommended to a camp in Colorado. I spent 6 months there. I eventually grew so close to God that he revealed my life to me. He gave me a gift that I don't want to jinx, but lets say that it helped me allot. I eventually reached a spiritual enlightenment and grew up. I came back a different person. I desired to succeed in everything I do. I eventually after 1 year of trying got a job and made money. But it took 3 jobs for me to realize that a prediction in my life was true. Predestined to Fail. I did not want to admit it, but I gave into it. I did not work another day for another year when one day my Mom joined the National Guard. At that point I refused to accept my Predestination. I joined the National guard for the fact that I did not want to be a failure in my life. I waited 1 year more after joining to ship to Basic Training. The time between was my most undesirable. I was on the street for a few days before eventually moving around to friends and then finally my brother Kenny's place. Where I stayed from November 08 to May 09.

I shipped to basic and spent 9 week without any electronic interaction, constant stress, constant tension, constant uncertainty, and constant disappointment. I became a Man.


Now 4 weeks later I am at AIT with all my freedom back. I have a new laptop *AspireONE* and a new tablet. *Bamboo* And I am back to drawing.


I was on a road that I seemed to not care what direction I went, but now I look back and think, "I am not the same person now." I've lost interest in allot of things. I no longer seem to worry about my story that I obsessed over for 6 years. I am more interested in getting through the day as relaxed as possible. I do my best when I know it's needed and I only try when I know it can be done. I show when it can't be and prove a fool would try.

I am not about myself anymore, I'm about the person to my left and my right. I know that when I go home things will not be the same for me. I will not be able to adjust to a civilian life with people that I know I can not depend on. I will have trouble not having a set direction pointed out for me already like it is here. Things are just too easy for me now. I fear that I wont be who I wanted to be, and regret the things I did in the past that made me who I am now.

But as for my art, I remain proud of what I have done and can do. My art is important to me and is a part of me. Letting it go is not something I'd ever want to do.

And that is my life in art Up till now.