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Breath of Life to the Dieing Soul

Journal Entry: Sat Dec 12, 2009, 8:44 PM
[STAMPS]









So things situationally are really bad here....


Financially were in trouble.



So I'm hoping that someone will take some commissions from me!


I still have never sold a commission but I've never priced my work. So please share what you think I should price at for starters.



Linearts to Color CG. Photo manipulations or simple graphics. I really need the money and am willing to negotiate a price.




I Draw anime and people are my strong point. If I can get a good workflow started then I will be able to help fight this beast called life.

  • Mood: Remorse
  • Listening to: Garnet Crow - ???????
  • Playing: Tekken6
  • Eating: Lowfat Yogurt in cerial.
  • Drinking: Water...Again

Obsessive

Journal Entry: Wed Nov 25, 2009, 1:35 PM
[STAMPS]









I've been addicted to drawing as of late. Perhaps it's all this unwanted idle time. So far I've not found a job that is for sure going to hire me. I can only hope. ;(

So anyways I remembered that I had a digital camera, so I am going to try and upload some pictures. :3



As for internet life, I've been visiting allot of old sites I used to go to. but so far i can't quite find that once cozy feeling I got when I found a chat room or a forum that i could freely express and talk with people who were not just there for luls or to harass.


Anyways I feel an epic event coming really soon. IDK if it is bad or good, but whatever it is it will be a scale event to remember.

  • Mood: Remorse
  • Listening to: Pantera - Cemetary Gates
  • Playing: Assassin's Creed 2
  • Eating: Peanutbutter! Cinnomon Toast Crunch?
  • Drinking: Milk

Change

Journal Entry: Sun Nov 15, 2009, 7:10 PM
[STAMPS]









So this is the situation so far. I finally got out of that hell, but just to fall into another one.


I've graduated and I am now out on my own, sorta.
I had made plans to get a job and find an apartment "with help"
But I was unable to contact such persons. So I ended up going back to my shithole apartment. Even worse, all my belongings are gone, my laptop with all my art and music and programs. my 360 is gone the games too. my ps2 and my countless and hard to find games gone...

I left that place to my supposed refuge to find out that I am not welcome, I am given 3 days when out of the blue my mother calls and asks, "want to come to Florida?" I instantly reply yes and I am on a plane in 12 hours. I arrive to find out She didn't want to go to Florida, so I stay the night. Then the next morning she comes to me and in a run away theme we leave the house and her husband in Kentucky. Destination Florida, Mission, find a job.

Within a Day She finds a job and meanwhile I am stricken and in shock still from the change in environment, dealing with my things being stolen all my plans falling apart and deep depression from constant negative energy directed at me for the past 7 months.

My life seems to be improving but having to start from scratch is kinda tough since I am only 21. I will be spending the entire day tomorrow against my will out on the street to look for a job from 0700 to 1700 looking for a job. I believe that event though I may be applying for jobs in every place that is there, I will not find a single job, because I live a cursed life. The Devil himself is out for me, everything I do ends in failure. Speaking from experience.

Anyways yay for me. Such a positive life I'm so positive because my life is awesome, so awesome I'd rather bury my head in sand than be positive ever again.

  • Mood: Remorse
  • Listening to: Rise Against - Preyr Of The Refuge
  • Eating: w/e I find.
  • Drinking: Venom - Orange

Tides of Change

Journal Entry: Fri Oct 23, 2009, 9:58 AM
[STAMPS]









I sit here now on my bunk looking at all that has happened now. I took a step into the world and fell to my knees. I looked for refuge in the Army by joining and most of my troubles were remedied. I eventually went through the trials and challenges and passed every one, as difficult as they were for my weak heart.

I lived allot while here at AIT, I've experienced the nature of human social life. But it is not what I desire so I am grateful to say that I am done.


I did have a problem though, today was graduation but I had a dentist appointment and now I'm on Quarters, so I cannot go anywhere. Getting 3 wisdom teeth and 2 broken to shit teeth takes allot out of you.

The numbness of the pain killers they gave me are working well. But I know too well the pain that I must endure when they ware off. So hopefully the medication get's to me in time.

I also have a new prediciment. I recently accidentally ripped off 1/4th of my pinky toe nail. it wasn't too much but a pain at the time, it later got swollen so I work bigger boots, but then Capstone, 5 days on the feild. I did nor get a chance to look at my feet the entire time, so I decided to check on the progress of my toe since it nolonger hurt as bad, and to my surprise it is worse. There is blood built up under the skin on the edge where the nail is no longer present. Fortunately I am getting antibiotics for my mouth so I just hope that fixes this problem, if not then I must got to a doctor.

  • Mood: Suffering
  • Eating: Can't eat for a while.
  • Drinking: Can't drink for a while but there sure is blood.

Mirror of Reality

Journal Entry: Mon Oct 12, 2009, 7:07 AM
[STAMPS]













So I was just sitting down enjoying my wildberry smoothie. And suddenly it popped into my mind.



There are two things in the world that puzzle me tho most in my life as a Human being.


1. Why is the left side of the body controlled by the right brain while the right is controlled by the left?

2. Why is it so hard for every day people to understand anything I am saying?



So my journey into Focal Meditation has brought a theory to the first question.Is the body compensating for a mistake?

So I continued to search within myself to discover that it might be possible that the body has made a mistake when it comes to visually taking in the world.

When we receive the information from our eyes the world is upside down, so the brain processes it to where it is translated as right up, but is it possible that the world we see is in reverse? Like a mirror where everything looks like it is on one side but is actually on the other side? That leads to my other issues like why some people are dyslexic. Perhaps this applies to them? I don't know maybe their brains register the world the opposite of the people who are not, same goes for left handed people.

The big problem with this is there is no real way to discover if the person sees the world in a mirror view. It would be like a person who sees red as blue and blue as red, they will always called the color the correct name but never know that they way they see it is the opposite of what it is. Unless they see a color as gray then there is no way to find out if that person is color 'blind' in fact it isn't even color blindness it's just an error in the body development.


So back to this theory, if the world is seen in reverse does that mean that the left is right and right is left? I wouldn't even say that for some reason the world is suddenly flipped and words are backwards, but they have been backwards the entire time. You call your right your left and your left your right but you will never know the difference because everyone sees it as common knowledge. It's always been that way.

I finally realized for some reason in my life that all my dreams are in reverse, they are flipped horizontally so everything is backwards. So is it possible that when we look in a mirror everything is correct? Is it possible that the Russian language has something to do with a reverse world of people? IDK Is that why people like perfect images? "as in both sides are identical."


So anyways that's just something that has been bothering me.

  • Mood: I Have To Pee
  • Listening to: Within temptation - Forgiven
  • Playing: PS3
  • Eating: Cupcake
  • Drinking: -

Journal History

What should linearts be? *full body* 

47%
7 deviants said 10$
20%
3 deviants said 5$
20%
3 deviants said 20$
13%
2 deviants said 40$
0%
No deviants said 60$????

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~AnomalyZer0:iconAnomalyZer0:
Yez, I iz thee first to bellow!
Mon Oct 12, 2009, 2:00 PM

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